Missing You

I had a very emotional day yesterday. My baby boy Rascal has been chewing on his tail and back for the past three weeks. Poor guy is not getting much rest, and neither is his mamma. We took him to the vet who thinks its a condition called “stud tale” usually seen in unneutered male cats (Rascal is neutered). It occurs when a cat's sebaceous glands produce too much oil that clogs pores, usually around the part where the tail meets the back. I have been on Google every night reviewing symptoms, searching alternative treatments, etc. I am convinced it may be fleas. Argh! That’s a whole other nightmare as I’ve discovered conventional flea treatments are so toxic to pets.

I have been trying all kinds of home remedies – bought an Elizabethan collar to prevent him from chewing his fur off – no luck he will not wear it, rubbed the skin with coconut oil – he just licks it off, crush pet arnica tablets into his food to try alleviate pain and inflammation, put Pet Wellbeing Detox Gold drops directly into his mouth twice a day to try stop the itching, wash his fur every evening with moisturizing shampoo, rinse and flea comb with colloidal silver water and lemon juice, change and wash bedding every night, and the pet Rescue Remedy drops to calm stress.

We have another vet appointment tomorrow… fingers crossed relief is near.

He gets me up at the crack of dawn every morning (as soon as he hears the birds chirping) wanting to go outside. I go out with them all (Rascal, Hope and Amiga) at that time of the day, to sip my matcha latte, so the coyotes know that mama bear is watching, and they’d better keep on trucking home all the way up the hill. It’s so breath-takingly beautiful to see the sun come up each morning. I say a prayer as it peaks up from behind the mountain – it grounds me into a space of gratitude for the day.

The hummingbirds are busy at that time of day as well. Last year, we had one who claimed its spot on a branch atop our hedge. I became quite attached and eagerly looked out the living room window every morning as soon as I woke, as well as checked on her every evening just before dark to see that she was still sitting on her perch – amazed and captivated by her behaviour and acrobatics.

This year there are two adorable little ones who are putting on quite a show throughout the day. Last night, in between feeding on the sugar nectar, they hovered just above my head as if saying hello. Watching them brought out this intense feeling of connection to my dad (who passed away 8 years ago on April 3) and mother-in-law (who passed away 1 year ago on February 29).

Last year I did a bit of research and discovered that, “Hummingbirds have a long history of folklore and symbolism in native cultures. The Aztecs saw them as messengers between them and their ancestors or the gods. In Native American culture, hummingbirds are seen as healers and bringers of love, good luck, and joy” (worldbirds.org).

I’ve actually been down on my knees praying for all of us every night, calling an all resources – God, dad, mother-in-law, grandparents, so it’s no wonder they’ve made an appearance.

Today, with all these emotions surging in my body I broke down and had a good cry. The added stresses because of this blasted pandemic have me especially missing my relatives who are gone – my dad, my mother-in-law, my grandparents. I know they are around watching over us, but I sure would love to just sit with them and talk awhile and get a really, big hug.

I wish I had appreciated our times together more when we had them, instead of taking some of those moments for granted, being caught up in all the things I had to do. But I am grateful for all of their unconditional love and support over the years.

I love and miss you all!