I can laugh about it now

I can laugh about it now

Because it’s been over 20 years.

Was living the dream in the big city

Or so I thought

Relationship

Good paying job

Shiny, new, red sportscar

Lots of drinking buddies…

Long, blonde hair

Sexy clothes

Fit & slim

I tried to be everything he wanted

But just not quite slim enough.

DAMN those last 10 pounds!

I was empty

I tried to hide my pain

Drinking with friends

Made it easier.

One day I met him after work for a date

In a crowded bar, I felt alone

Because the other girls

Had something I didn’t.

We drank

We argued

We left…

A police officer watched the show

From the parking lot

Where I went to get in my car

and drive home…

He came to the window

“Anything to drink tonight?”

“No, sir.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Please step out of the vehicle.”

It was a pretty fancy spin

As my leg got caught in the seatbelt

And I landed on my butt

In my cute little mini-dress.

“I’ll give you a choice:

You can either blow into the breathalyzer

Or I can call you a CAB.”

Luckily he scared the stupid out of me. 🤣